Potty training nightmare and sentence enhancers...

These last few days have been quite a learning experience. McCoy woke up and decided he wanted to wear underwear. This was great news! Or so I thought. I cleaned up the potty chair and brought it out of retirement. I explained to Coy that he had to make sure to aim his wiener down into the bowl so he wouldn't pee everywhere. Well, he takes one little finger and pokes it down, looks at me and says, "mom, I touching my wiener! Hahaha!" Ugh, I should've known this was going to be "fun". Well, he decided he needed to use the potty chair as a recliner of sorts. 

This boy cannot miss Bubble Guppies. The sequence of events that occurred next, are what constitutes this as a nightmare. 

I had to call the power company, which involved me being on hold forever. Trapper was screaming so I went and talked in Coy's room. While I was away, he moved his potty into the kitchen, peed in it (yay!), tried to carry it to dump it (no!), spilled pee all over my kitchen floor (aaack!) and then spilled dog water all over the livingroom floor. 

When I found the pee and realized what happened, I made sure to praise him but then remind him that mommy dumps the potty. I also made sure to explain how to poop in the potty. I figured he understood. I was wrong.

We've always joked he was a closet pooper. He always hides when he has to make a deuce. Well, he went into his room to play. I was feeding Trap when all of the sudden McCoy comes running out of the hallway saying he pooped in the potty. He bends down, picks something up and says "ewww", shakes his hand and looks at me with very excited eyes. Immediately, I knew what the "ewww" was for. It was poop. In my dining room. Mind you, a small turdling of sorts, but poop nonetheless. I grabbed a wipe, cleaned up the mess and followed him into the bathroom. 

There was, in fact, a turd in the potty. We cheered, celebrated (no high fives, he had touched a turd) and then we cleaned his hands and his potty. It was then, that I realized something. Where were his underwear...?

He pointed me in the direction of his room. I promptly noticed his closet door was open. Inside, a little pee puddle, another turdling and his skid marked underwear. My son did not poop on the potty. My son pulled his underwear down, forced out a poo, peed a little due to the pressure, picked up said poo and placed it, with his hands, in his potty chair. He played me. Hard. He explained the poop was in the potty. Yes, I had told him the poop was to be put in the potty, but I figured he understood it was to go directly from his butt into the potty. Ugh. 

I did laugh a bit. Until a couple days later, my wash machine died. I spend more time with her, than my husband. I feel as if a relative has died. I don't know whether to rejoice or cry because I can't wash clothes until Monday. We are surviving, but a trip to my folks' place is necessary. I can't NOT do laundry for an entire week. 

Amongst all of the excitement, I did make it a point to take a moment for myself. Posh came out with a foot peel kit. So, I took the plunge and did it. It was amazing. So refreshing and easy! Here are some pictures of the process:

I put on the gel and let it sit for an hour. About six days later, my skin started flaking off. 

My feet are now super smooth! I'm kind of excited. It was like having a little spa moment in my own home. Now if it would just warm up a bit so I could bust out the flip flops. 

Another subject entirely, I have a bit of an embarrassing story to tell. It is certainly funny, but it makes me feel like a horrible mom. If you know me, I have a potty mouth. I use sentence enhancers quite frequently. I've never had an issue with the girls repeating the "bad words". McCoy however, has pulled out all the stops. 

The other evening at the dinner table, my son turned and looked at his older sister Evie and said "Ebie, you're a f**ing a**hole." I about died. Mainly because I almost choked on my dinner but it took everything I had not to laugh hysterically. I choked back my giggles, because to hear a tiny human say something like that just catches you off guard. But then I told him those were naughty words and he was never to say them again.

 I feel horrible because Matt and I don't always hold back curse words. We never worried before, because the girls know better. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has ever had this happen because I feel like I'm in last place in the running for mom of the year. 

Well, this is all for today because I have a birthday to plan for tomorrow (Addi turns 10!!) Here are some pictures of the cute little sailor and his equally adorable little brother (and the dog):

The glue...

I'm going to start by saying, I don't have anything super funny to share. Not that things haven't happened... It's just been a very stressful week or two. 

Why does being a parent require us to be mean? I guess I call it firm, but my kids call it mean. I sure feel mean sometimes. Making sure they clean up their messes or do their chores right... the FIRST time. Teaching them that rolling their eyes is a sign of disrespect. Ugh...

I have four beautiful children. I love them all dearly, but only one seems to actually love me all the time. And this is one of those weeks where I wonder if it isn't because he doesn't know any better. Because I am mean. 

Now, perhaps I'm feeling sorry for myself. Or maybe I'm just exhausted. I just FEEL like I'm doing it all wrong. I say the same things over and over again and I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I never wanted to be that mom. But now I realize it's almost necessary to be THAT mom. 

Kids don't listen all the time. Kids piss you off from time to time. Kids will test you until you feel your sanity crack. And the only thing you can do is repeat yourself. And hope to God it sticks. And sometimes it does! Oh, what a glorious feeling. But even Velcro stops sticking, glue dries up and rubber cement just comes undone. And we reapply it or replace it. I guess that's what I am. The glue. I might not hold things together all the time, but with a little repetitive application, I at least leave a residue that's damn hard to remove. 

I just hope, someday, they will realize I wasn't being mean. I was only trying to mold them into the best darn human beings they could be. Because dammit, I don't want them to have regrets or wasted potential. It's because I'm the glue and I love them. 

Oh, and happy half birthday, little man who doesn't think I'm mean. 😘

Playing catch up...

It's been a long time since I last posted...again. My life seems busy, yet not. Anyone else feel this way? Well, what have we been up to...? Lots. 

I've been working on getting Evie to stop sucking her thumb. She tells me she doesn't anymore. What do you think? She's been caught blue thumbed. If anyone has any helpful advice, I would gladly take it. 

Here is a rare photo of the girls actually getting along. Evie fell asleep like this. She was one tired girl. 

Here is another photo proving the thumb sucking hasn't stopped. And by the way, DVD players in the vehicle are a life saver.  Evie looks pretty awesome. Purple everything with her ears hanging out of her hat. 

Evie and I did some Jamberry nails. She had the thumb one sucked off within an hour of having them done. These things are pretty handy and so pretty!

I had a rare moment happen. The three youngest actually took a semi decent photo. Addi was at school and these three settled down just enough to snag a picture. This never happens when Addi is home. 

Trapper had food for the first time last week. He wasn't elated but he did actually eat. 

Speaking of eating, this last weekend we had a "build your own pizza bar". We love having time for a family meal the kids can help make. They had a blast and ate so much. That never happens anymore! McCoy actually ate!

On Sunday, we hung out with my dad. While the boys (dad included) were napping, Addi wanted to learn how to play Guitar Hero. She gets about as serious as I do. 

Later on that evening, Trap tried out the jumperoo. Let's just say, he got his excited face on. 

Lately though, his favorite place is like this:

This means mom doesn't get much done. But that's ok. They're only little and snuggly once. 

One final moment I would like to share is this one. These two fight like cats and dogs, but every once in a while, they snuggle up all peaceful like. They're watching "netfwix". 

Hopefully I will have more to share this week, or moreover, more time to share it. Hope you all are doing well!

Football and...balls...

Another weekend has escaped me and another Monday is close to being over. Not a whole heck of a lot has been going on in my neck of the woods. Trapper has finally decided he will sit in a bumbo seat without throwing a fit:

As long as he has toys, he's a happy boy. 

We had some great friends over for football this weekend. Made some banana bread, apple cinnamon coffee cake and chicken tortilla soup... to name just a few things. 

The food was great, the company greater. I love entertaining, especially since we got the house. It's what I do, people! Probably why I decided to have a small herd of children. I will be entertaining large groups for the rest of my life. 

Sunday, our Packers played. They won, but it was kind of ugly. I told the kids they had to wear Packer gear or they had to walk to grandma's. It's a 45 minute drive, so they happily donned their green and gold. The only one willing to stay and watch the game was Trapper. Nobody likes to watch football with me because I'm "too into the game". LIES! I'm passionate. Alas, even the baby thinks I'm crazy. 

We survived the weekend without any head injuries at grandma's. That's a plus. However, after dealing with my fair share of drama today, Evie must have noticed I needed a laugh. All I hear is, "mom, look at my balls!"

She needs to stop hanging out with her dad and brothers. Where do they come up with this stuff?! 

Well, speaking of Evie, I hear WWIII going on in the girls' room over, what I'm gathering, who gets to play with naked Ken. So for now, good night while I go break up the naked Barbie dance party... yet again. 

The post holiday wind down and head injuries...

I see I haven't posted since right before Christmas! I've been shirking my duties, and I am sorry. Our Christmas was quite lovely, even though Matthew had to work. We spent it at my folks' house with my sister and her husband. The kids made out like bandits and had a blast. This is them Christmas Eve, waiting for Santa:

Trapper was pretty cranky. He had just gotten shots the Friday before and was in a bit of a funk, but grandpa snuggles always make things better. 

Santa brought McCoy a basketball hoop and he's been obsessed ever since. 

After Christmas was over, Addi went and spent the remainder of Christmas vacation with her dad. Evie wanted to go with so badly, but I told her it would have to be another time. This is the response I got:

Trapper finally started to come around and be the "normal, smiley baby" again. 

Unfortunately, this was short lived and the "serious baby" came back. 

We spent New Year's Eve with my folks again, since Matt had to work. We played games with friends and the kids played with their friends. Evie had a sleepover with the Heller family. 

The Sunday after the holiday, we went back to my folks' place and we had a bit of an accident. McCoy was running in the kitchen and tripped, ramming his head into the fridge. I can honestly say I've never been so scared. The bump on his head was huge and appeared so fast.

He's a trooper though and after a bunch of cookies from grandma and some strawberries, he had a smile again. 

Another great Coy moment, was last night. Addi had left her ski mask in the living room and McCoy kept asking what it was, so I told him it was a mask. He said it was scary, so I put it on and yelled "rawr!". (We played it out today in pictures)

He gives me a look:

And then yells "no!" and pulls the mask from my head. Makes this face:

And then says, "scary... Not. Nice." And as he's finishes saying nice, he pokes the end of my nose. It was quite funny. As you can tell, he cracks himself up. 

Nice little bruise you got there, Coy boy. 

We also figured out why Trap was so cranky. Someone has two teeth poking through, front and center on the bottom. This is all he would let me get. 

And final funny story, my boys were laying in bed yesterday and we were talking about preschool. I told McCoy if he starts using the potty, he can probably go to school next year like Evie and Addi. 

Matt countered with, "yeah, that's a really great incentive to make him potty train. I'm going to start pooping my pants again, so I don't have to work. Oops, I didn't wipe good enough, there's a skid mark, can't go to work today!"

Unfortunately for him, I explained that isn't going to fly. The boys were all unimpressed, so they continued watching cartoons, ending our discussion. 

 

Until next time, hope you all have a good one!

Shots, pampering and holding hands...

We've been such a busy little family! I've been baking for what seems like forever. But, I can now say I am done. What a relief! Now I just need to make the goody trays and get them OUT of my house. 

We weren't home all weekend. Trapper had shots on Friday. He's a very healthy baby boy. At four months he weighs in at 15lbs 3oz and is a little shorty at 24 inches long. He was a happy boy too, up until his shots. 

He cried, I cried... Then we went and had lunch at the kids' favorite place, the Royal  Fork. We are so sad that it's closing. Evie was eating and kept saying, "this just isn't fair." No, my dear, it isn't. 

After lunch, we braved the mall to finish Christmas shopping. Oy. I'm so glad we finished on Friday. We drove by the mall on Saturday because I bought the wrong size pajamas for McCoy, and we kept on driving. Holy nightmare!

Speaking of Saturday, momma went and got pampered. I got my hair colored and cut. It's always a 3 hour process for my mop but I love the end result. The experience always starts off a bit scary.

I told my lovely hairdresser, Nicole, I wanted something different, fun and a little wild. Well, after sitting for a couple hours, this is what we got. 

The purple will fade to the lavender we were going for after a few washes. And no, Vikings fan I am NOT. 

We finished our lovely weekend off with some much needed family time at my parents' house. I love getting to sit and talk with my folks about Christmases past. So many fun memories. We laughed and we cried. It was a beautiful evening and I can't wait until Christmas. The only one missing will be Matthew. He has to work the holiday. I'm a little bummed but it could be so much worse. 

And finally, what would this blog be without a little Evie/bathroom humor? I had to use the bathroom and (I will keep this as clean as possible) it was a rather painful tummy experience. Since my children can't respect anyone's privacy, Evie burst into the bathroom. I must have had quite the look on my face because she looks at me, very concerned, and asks if I need someone to hold my hand. I politely declined. 

Well, until next time... Make sure to lock those bathroom doors. 

Christmas programs and Christmas cookies...

What a busy last couple of days. The girls had their Christmas program last night and it was wonderful. We got them all dolled up and they put on one heck of a show. 

McCoy had to get in on the action. He was so upset he couldn't wear a dress too. He even had to wear Evie's black flats today. 

He started to get bored at the program last night so he decided to cause a little mischief. He turned around in his seat and told the old man behind us to "be quiet right now!" And then turned and faced forward and laughed like a maniac. Thankfully the man thought it was just as funny. 

Today was a day of baking. I still have so much more to do. Got a pretty good head start though. 

I had bananas that were about to go to the dark side, so I made banana chocolate chip muffins. The boy who never eats actually ate three. 

Then I moved on to peanut blossoms. One of my most favorite Christmas cookies. 

And to finish off the night, I made finger cookies. So much butter. So darned tasty. 

Well, I'm off to go do some sort of face mask. After all of these shenanigans, I need to unwind. Goodnight!