Potty training nightmare and sentence enhancers...

These last few days have been quite a learning experience. McCoy woke up and decided he wanted to wear underwear. This was great news! Or so I thought. I cleaned up the potty chair and brought it out of retirement. I explained to Coy that he had to make sure to aim his wiener down into the bowl so he wouldn't pee everywhere. Well, he takes one little finger and pokes it down, looks at me and says, "mom, I touching my wiener! Hahaha!" Ugh, I should've known this was going to be "fun". Well, he decided he needed to use the potty chair as a recliner of sorts. 

This boy cannot miss Bubble Guppies. The sequence of events that occurred next, are what constitutes this as a nightmare. 

I had to call the power company, which involved me being on hold forever. Trapper was screaming so I went and talked in Coy's room. While I was away, he moved his potty into the kitchen, peed in it (yay!), tried to carry it to dump it (no!), spilled pee all over my kitchen floor (aaack!) and then spilled dog water all over the livingroom floor. 

When I found the pee and realized what happened, I made sure to praise him but then remind him that mommy dumps the potty. I also made sure to explain how to poop in the potty. I figured he understood. I was wrong.

We've always joked he was a closet pooper. He always hides when he has to make a deuce. Well, he went into his room to play. I was feeding Trap when all of the sudden McCoy comes running out of the hallway saying he pooped in the potty. He bends down, picks something up and says "ewww", shakes his hand and looks at me with very excited eyes. Immediately, I knew what the "ewww" was for. It was poop. In my dining room. Mind you, a small turdling of sorts, but poop nonetheless. I grabbed a wipe, cleaned up the mess and followed him into the bathroom. 

There was, in fact, a turd in the potty. We cheered, celebrated (no high fives, he had touched a turd) and then we cleaned his hands and his potty. It was then, that I realized something. Where were his underwear...?

He pointed me in the direction of his room. I promptly noticed his closet door was open. Inside, a little pee puddle, another turdling and his skid marked underwear. My son did not poop on the potty. My son pulled his underwear down, forced out a poo, peed a little due to the pressure, picked up said poo and placed it, with his hands, in his potty chair. He played me. Hard. He explained the poop was in the potty. Yes, I had told him the poop was to be put in the potty, but I figured he understood it was to go directly from his butt into the potty. Ugh. 

I did laugh a bit. Until a couple days later, my wash machine died. I spend more time with her, than my husband. I feel as if a relative has died. I don't know whether to rejoice or cry because I can't wash clothes until Monday. We are surviving, but a trip to my folks' place is necessary. I can't NOT do laundry for an entire week. 

Amongst all of the excitement, I did make it a point to take a moment for myself. Posh came out with a foot peel kit. So, I took the plunge and did it. It was amazing. So refreshing and easy! Here are some pictures of the process:

I put on the gel and let it sit for an hour. About six days later, my skin started flaking off. 

My feet are now super smooth! I'm kind of excited. It was like having a little spa moment in my own home. Now if it would just warm up a bit so I could bust out the flip flops. 

Another subject entirely, I have a bit of an embarrassing story to tell. It is certainly funny, but it makes me feel like a horrible mom. If you know me, I have a potty mouth. I use sentence enhancers quite frequently. I've never had an issue with the girls repeating the "bad words". McCoy however, has pulled out all the stops. 

The other evening at the dinner table, my son turned and looked at his older sister Evie and said "Ebie, you're a f**ing a**hole." I about died. Mainly because I almost choked on my dinner but it took everything I had not to laugh hysterically. I choked back my giggles, because to hear a tiny human say something like that just catches you off guard. But then I told him those were naughty words and he was never to say them again.

 I feel horrible because Matt and I don't always hold back curse words. We never worried before, because the girls know better. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has ever had this happen because I feel like I'm in last place in the running for mom of the year. 

Well, this is all for today because I have a birthday to plan for tomorrow (Addi turns 10!!) Here are some pictures of the cute little sailor and his equally adorable little brother (and the dog):